Category: Dialog

Magnus is the current leader of the reapers. He is young, his predecessor was killed in field duty. He had to assume command before he was ready, and while he did a stellar job at rallying the order in the face of an onslaught of rogue wizards wrecking havoc across the three kingdoms, he was too insecure of his position, afraid to push for reforms the order severely needed. As times have quickly changed, the order is under pressure to adapt. They are simply too undiplomatic with their approach, preferring always to use brute force to advance their agendas.

Magnus recruited a slew of female magi to quickly bolster their ranks, and ended up sleeping with the best female reaper. She goes rogue. When they finally meet after her departure from the organization, they have this exchange:

G: “Violence is not always the answer! It’s the easiest answer, because you don’t want to spend the effort to think!”

M: “I think through my every decision with care. You know I do. I will not have you lecture me, traitor!”

G: “Traitor? I’m on your side, Magnus!”

M: “You left us in our time of need. That’s what traitors do.”

G: “You really believe that? There isn’t always a no-risk solution to complex situations, Magnus!”

M: “One magus gone mad will inspire other madmen! We have to purge them and everyone who survived them! Nobody knows magic exists, nobody will explore. We save many more lives! It’s mathematics, you can’t argue against that!”

G: “But that’s not true! Magic is everywhere, people just use it in secret! They use it to solve problems in their lives!”

M: “Then they’ll die!”

G: “I want to believe in a better world, you silly man! I know in my heart you’re not a killer!”

M: “You don’t know me. And your actions have cleared my thoughts on this. Women should never be reapers!”

G: “But there are no reapers without us! There are more female magi than male magi! We get a vote on how the order should be, and right now there are more of us, because you blockheads keep getting yourselves killed! There’s your math, Magnus!”

M: “I’ll take those as your fighting words.”

G: “No! I’m trying to reach you, but you never listen!”

M: “Since you’re so eager to usurp my position in the order, then ready your scythe!”

G: “Don’t do this, Magnus. While you were fighting to keep the order intact, I was fighting actual wizards. I’m stronger than you.”

M: “Then don’t hold back, woman.”

G: “You’ll die…”

B: “So, what made you such an edgelord, boy? Did you at least fuck her?”

K: “I made a vow. Sticking to it.”

B: “A vow to fuck her? Know where she lives? I’ll help keep her down. Have as many rounds as you like.”

K: “No.”

B: “Bet her ass was flat.”

K: “You’re not going to drop this inquiry all night, I feel.”

B: “Bet your ass. I can keep this fire going all night. Axe up those woods and make a pyre. You won’t sleep anywhere in this shitting forest.”

K: “It’s not a complicated story…”

B: “Hush, hold a moment, I got seasoning for our kill tonight in my bag.”

B: “Smell that? The roast is spot on based on the smell. Nice and crispy, blood dried up.”

K: “She was mine. I told her secret to someone. That’s how it ended.”

B: “Even my axe is yawning.”

K: “That’s a scary insinuation! You would kill me, if I don’t entertain you?!”

B: “I’m bored, not murderous. The insinuation was for you to add detail, lest I will fetch wood for the fire. Reference to the earlier part of our conversation.”

K: “You’re irritating… and aren’t barbarians supposed to be idiots? I frankly feel that I prefer barbarians without a reading background.”

B: “You are cornerned, my edgy friend. I won’t apologize for this inquiry. Give me my bedtime story!”

K: “Don’t be surprised when a future traveling companion poisons your food.”

B: “HAH! I’ve stockpiled antidotes for any poisons you may conjure from this forest, and even the toxins native to your hometown. Now, fess up your story, or we’ll be here all fucking night!”

K: “I vowed. After telling her secret to someone, it changed everything.”

B: “Everything. Such as?”

K: “I learned from that experience. It was a revelation.”

(PAUSE)

K: “So you’re finally going to let me talk?”

B: “Thought you didn’t wanna talk.”

K: “Of course I want to. But that was the lesson!”

B: “Yes. Honest boys like you get scraps and scars. Certainly no woman to lean on for warmth at night.”

K: “Yeah, so when I draw my last breath, she’ll be the last thought before the end.”

B: “Hah. You’ve drawn oversized life lessons from a few shitty experiences. Fucking edgelord.”

Having hurled his final insult, Boros laid on the ground and assumed his preferred sleeping position. So he was only looking for a verbal joust to sate his lust for conflict, Karma realized. Cultured barbarians were the worst indeed.