B: “So, what made you such an edgelord, boy? Did you at least fuck her?”
K: “I made a vow. Sticking to it.”
B: “A vow to fuck her? Know where she lives? I’ll help keep her down. Have as many rounds as you like.”
K: “No.”
B: “Bet her ass was flat.”
K: “You’re not going to drop this inquiry all night, I feel.”
B: “Bet your ass. I can keep this fire going all night. Axe up those woods and make a pyre. You won’t sleep anywhere in this shitting forest.”
K: “It’s not a complicated story…”
B: “Hush, hold a moment, I got seasoning for our kill tonight in my bag.”
B: “Smell that? The roast is spot on based on the smell. Nice and crispy, blood dried up.”
K: “She was mine. I told her secret to someone. That’s how it ended.”
B: “Even my axe is yawning.”
K: “That’s a scary insinuation! You would kill me, if I don’t entertain you?!”
B: “I’m bored, not murderous. The insinuation was for you to add detail, lest I will fetch wood for the fire. Reference to the earlier part of our conversation.”
K: “You’re irritating… and aren’t barbarians supposed to be idiots? I frankly feel that I prefer barbarians without a reading background.”
B: “You are cornerned, my edgy friend. I won’t apologize for this inquiry. Give me my bedtime story!”
K: “Don’t be surprised when a future traveling companion poisons your food.”
B: “HAH! I’ve stockpiled antidotes for any poisons you may conjure from this forest, and even the toxins native to your hometown. Now, fess up your story, or we’ll be here all fucking night!”
K: “I vowed. After telling her secret to someone, it changed everything.”
B: “Everything. Such as?”
K: “I learned from that experience. It was a revelation.”
(PAUSE)
K: “So you’re finally going to let me talk?”
B: “Thought you didn’t wanna talk.”
K: “Of course I want to. But that was the lesson!”
B: “Yes. Honest boys like you get scraps and scars. Certainly no woman to lean on for warmth at night.”
K: “Yeah, so when I draw my last breath, she’ll be the last thought before the end.”
B: “Hah. You’ve drawn oversized life lessons from a few shitty experiences. Fucking edgelord.”
Having hurled his final insult, Boros laid on the ground and assumed his preferred sleeping position. So he was only looking for a verbal joust to sate his lust for conflict, Karma realized. Cultured barbarians were the worst indeed.
